Ho-hum! Scary clowns. Pennywise, The Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Art the Clown, the Jester, Jack in the Box, Punch, the Joker... I'm sure you've seen it all, so that the idea of a "killer clown" no longer holds any prospect of new kinds of fear. Except, of course, for Mervo the Marvelous, who frightens all who yet live. But you haven't seen... Clown (2014). When the entertainer for a little boy's birthday party cancels, the boy's father dons a clown costume of mysterious origin to take over the duties himself and it turns out pretty well. At first. Unfortunately, the "costume" has further plans and hopes to make itself the father's permanent role. Ha, but I'm joking, certainly! I mean, snort, THIS guy? Surely this guy isn't the scary thing in a horror movie? It is to laugh. Yeah. Well. Just go ahead and watch "Clown". I'm sure it won't scare you. Let alone disturb so deeply that you curse me for recommending i...
I love this movie, because it's a great PG-13 movie, and don't let anyone tell you any different. Like many modern horror films (such as "Lights Out"; "Saw"; "The Jester"; "Terrifier") it's based on a previous short. The structure is a familiar one. A group of high schoolers encounter a Cursed Object (in this case, a polaroid camera) which leaves them marked for death, one by one. Who, if anyone, will survive and how? In fact, this is pretty much the same plot as an episode of "Are You Afraid of The Dark?" and one of "Goosebumps". But, really, can't that be said of almost ANY horror plot? Where "Polaroid" distinguishes itself is the incredible APTNESS of the Scary Entity that is the threat and the "rules" of how the cursed camera works. The polaroid isn't just some throwaway plot device (as it was in, say, "Back to the Future"); it is really IS the heart of the schtick and o...
I guarantee you, with no doubt or hesitation, that "De Lift" (1983) is, hands-down, the finest Dutch killer-elevator film you will ever see. It is not to be confused with the 1972 German made-for-tv movie "DER Lift", which is about a ski lodge, not an elevator. Which itself is not to be confused with Robert Zemeckis's 1972 student film "The Lift", which is about an elevator, but not a killer one. Or with the 1974 made-for-television thriller "The Elevator", with Roddy McDowell, because how could it NOT have Roddy McDowell?! Nor it is to be confused with "Down" (2001), which is the English-language remake of "De Lift", directed by... well, the same guy who directed De Lift (Dick Maas). And no one is allowed to even THINK about "Devil" (2010). Ugh. If you do, you will get slapped in the face with a piece of jelly-bread. With the jelly FACING you. It is more absurd than ALL of those, put together. No, this is t...
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