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You know what's even better than a low-budget Ozploitation flick about a telekinetic coma patient? THE OVER-THE-TOP REMAKE! Patrick: Evil Awakens (2013) is one of the best, most respectful horror remakes of all time. So eager to respect the original were its creators that they basically gave ANYBODY who'd been in the original even for a moment the opportunity to be in the remake as an extra.   While the original is set is a dumpy old facility, the remake is set in a SCARY GOTHC facility. Really. The hospital is an entire additional character and a very welcome one. The Doctor is 100 times more eccentric. The Head Nurse 10 times as icy.   Those who are late do NOT get fruit cup. The nurse is 10 times more Righteously Determined and Patrick is 10 times more threatening since nowadays everything is controlled by exactly the kind of electronics his powers (seem like they) could plausibly affect. If you want to see how a FUN and RESPECTFUL horror remake can be done (which, by the w...

1970s horror movies are a breed apart.  The era of radioactive giant animals had ended  With some notable exceptions, of course. and the horror industry was just making it up as they went along.  Supernaturalism and satanism were favored topics, but Just Plain Weirdness like cryptids, Italian dwarves in raincoats, and Margot Kidder roamed the cinematic plains. One of the creatures didn't roam at all, however. That creature was  Patrick (1978) Patrick is a coma-patient who is more aware than his caretakers realize and who has psychokinesis and MINDPOWERS.  Patrick is also... well, being immobile would make anyone crabby, but that aside, Patrick is not a nice person.  He's a bit, let's say "possessive", and that's how he wound up in a coma in the first place. He's stuck in a slummy/crummy hospital, where the staff isn't very sympathetic (but it's kind of hard to blame them).  The Main Doctor is trying to electroshock Patrick out of his coma; Patrick...

 The Innocents (2021) reminds us that children are not normal. I don't mean "children who have mysteriously acquired a variety of metal superpowers".  I don't even mean Nordic children.  Just... children. Their brains are not yet fully formed. They don't have the intellectual capacity to process all the experiences and emotions they have. They have too little experience of the world to know what is normal and what is not.   Now. Give those people superpowers. How does that turn out...? Don't go into this film expecting to see people throwing cars around with their minds. You can watch Chronicle for that.  In Chronicle what happens is inevitable in the manner of a Greek tragedy.  But the outcome of The Innocents is a nail biter to the end. Aside from all its technical prowess, The Innocents does three things quite well.  It shows the importance of parenting and the effect you are having on your children even when you aren't paying attention. ESPECI...

What you get when you add Chuck Connors (from "The Rifleman" tv show) telekinesis, and taxidermy? They do not go lightly on the "Rifleman" references. You get "Tourist Trap" . Remember the video for George Harrison's "I Got Mind Set On You"? (1987, I think). I am of course referring to Version II, not Version I. Well, imagine that Harrison is a screaming psychopath and everything in the room is trying to kill you. That's "Tourist Trap". See it because it's batshit crazy and has a starkly unpleasant ending that reminds us that just because you survive something doesn't mean you're going to be okay.