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Showing posts from October, 2023

The Bad, The Good, and The Beautiful

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Need a last minute costume? Just grab a poster from "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".

Landing Strip

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Well, at least now we know who attacked Miss Nepal.

I Just Bombed My Hair and Can't Do a THING With It!

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What greater statement against the horrors of war could there be? BONUS: That's BEFORE they toned it down.

Xenomorphia

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Despite appearances, the female face-hugger is the more dangerous of the species.

Post-It Child

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Notes to Self: REMEMBER TO PICK-UP ALL THE THINGS.

No Watering Required

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For sunless waiting rooms that still want to appear verdant, Miss Dominican Republic is the attractive, low-maintenance solutions.

Welcome, Fellow Americans...

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Like her sister, Miss USA, Miss Puerto Rico is a victim of Snow-Globe-alism.

Cock-a-doodle-don't

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You see, sweetie, when a Dragon and a Rooster love each other very much....

Come Loaded

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Well.   That looks like quite a buck.

Hawkgirl

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Shayera Hall reserves this special costume for Friday night play time with Carter.

The Not So Little Engine That Really Oughtn't Have

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I am at a loss for any comment to add that could make this more risible.

A Pandemonium

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Bird-Cerberus, guardian of the gates of What-The-Hell.

Shoulder Devil

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When Shari Lewis-lovers go bad.

Self-Defense

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When threatened, the Miss Canada displays its awesome array of flags to overwhelm potential predators.

Side Dish

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Miss Netherlands is available as a Thanksgiving side dish.

Wingspan

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"But I am really a beautiful princess, cursed by a witch to remain as a bird until I find true love."

SnowGlobalism

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Like many contestant, Miss USA is a tragic victim of Snow-Globe-alism, wherein, due to surfeit of patriotism, the posterior or dorsal areas of the body erupt with a panoply of national landmarks.

Grandma's Favorite

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Miss Cameron is the contestant any grandmother would be glad to have on her side-table.

Flamingo

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Hawk and Dove have met their match:

Black Light Beauty

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  Miss Mexico is available at Children of Eng Gift Shop, in the black light poster section.

The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made

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 Today I watched not the fifty worst movies ever made, but "The 50 Worst Movies Ever Made" , a 2004 video docutainment. I can only assume this curiosity is one of the last of its kind, since YouTube, now the natural habit for such complications, didn't exist until 2005.  It's cheaply made, facile, cursory (at barely over 60 minutes), and, who knows, might one day appear on a YouTube complication of "The 50 Worst Straight-To-Video Documentaries".  But it's also the length of an exercise bike ride. Naturally, it had a lot of the films you would expect: MST3K-types like The Crawling Terror, Eegah!, and  Hillbillies in a Haunted House, lots of Monster A versus Character B flicks, some Ed Wood films. But I must protest the inclusion of three blaxploitation films: Black Belt Jones ; TNT Jackson ; and J.D.'s Revenge . I can understand wanting to not overlook blaxploitation films; there are certainly stinkers within the genre that could be included simply t...

The Burrowers

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Looking for a Native American-based horror film to watch that would do double-duty for both Indigenous People's Day and Halloween , a friend and I settled on watching Wolfen , rather than The Burrowers. So I watched The Burrowers. And there is no other way to put it: The Burrowers is deeply unpleasant. In another era, it would have been titled, "Attack of the Mutant Praire Dogs" If you are sad and feeling hopeless, The Burrowers is the perfectly movie to help you continue the mood.